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Why I Don’t Sleep

It’s night where I am. I would love to sleep, but there’s something keeping me awake…something so evil, so volatile that I want to destroy things when I think about it. It’s a roof turbine vent. And it is squeaky. Anytime it’s windy out, the damn thing squeaks and grinds and makes the exact sound that I would imagine a crying house would make.

I rent this room on the second floor of a house that belongs to a 75 year old lady. Neither one of us is going to climb out onto that roof to see what the problem is. A little research tells me that my roof turbine vent needs to be lubricated, but I don’t know where to start. Roof turbine vents are made to pull the hot air out of attics, and keep the cold air out also. I’m sure you’ve seen them before. They look like awful metal muffins:

Roof Turbine Vent

Do Not Eat

If I could climb out my window and kick the rusty thing, I would. That’s what I fantasize about when it wakes me up in the middle of the night with its haunted wails. “I’m the boss around here, roof turbine vent” (that’s what I’d say as I was kicking it). But maybe I’ll get lucky. Maybe there will be no wind tonight.  Or maybe the cops will have to coax me down from the top of the house at 1 AM, while I kick and yell into the night.




Ready to Kill a few more hours?

Check this out. Cat gifs + music

Absolutely Wonderful

Have an Hour or Two to Kill?

Check out BrowserQuest, a multi-player online adventure game written entirely in HTML5 by Mozilla.

HTML5 game

Adorable, right?

The game itself is cute, fun, and addictive, and has a variety of items for you to collect and achievements for you to earn. While playing through the whole game at this point shouldn’t really take you more than a few hours, it still has a lot to offer.

Give it a whirl. Good stuff from Mozilla.

Shopping around

I believe that in the future, shopping will be the first thing to become “virtual reality.” Sure, shopping online is great, but you can’t try on clothes, or check to see if your product is damaged. You just kind of have to play the waiting game until the product arrives a few days/weeks later.

Imagine all the trouble virtual reality shopping would save us. We wouldn’t have to go out to the store, but at the same time, we could still get the experience of shopping…the Lazy Person’s dream! Have y’all seen the Cronenberg flick “eXistenZ?” Without giving away too much, it’s about a virtual reality video game of the future. Good stuff, really. That’s what I want the future to be like. At least it will keep us on our toes.

I do, however, hate real life shopping. It’s not something I do very often, because I don’t have a lot of money or patience for that sort of thing. This past weekend, though, I was visiting my parents, and went shopping for my mother’s birthday with my father. We were at a sort of “higher-end” clothing and retail store looking to buy her some pants. After the pants had been found, we went to the checkout to purchase them.

Now, my father is a pretty average guy in his mid-50s. He tries to stay in touch with the latest tech trends and such, and does a pretty good job, but everything changes so fast, it’s even hard for me to keep up. The lady doing our checkout: “Did you find everything ok?”

My father responds politely (he’s a nice guy).

Lady: “Do you have any online coupons you’d like to redeem?”

Dad: “No thanks.”

Lady: “Alright then. Would you like a digital copy of your receipt sent  to your email?”

Dad: “I’ll take a physical copy (my mom was probably going to return these pants. She’s picky…and even less tech-savy than my father).”

Lady: “Ok, well, are you signed up for our mailing list? We’ll email you with special offers and coupons. ”

Dad: “No thank you.”

Lady: “Well, be sure to check our our online catalog. There are hundreds of products online that aren’t available in our store. If you type in the number from your receipt as a promo code, you can get a discount. I’m just going to go home and upload myself to the internet. It’s the new thing!”

…where the only place open past 7 is Subway.

Ahhh, Small Town America. Home of AAA baseball teams and high school football and greasy diners. There’s just something so American about it.

I spent a whole afternoon in a cute, vibrant small town yesterday. The weather was beautiful, so there were a lot of people out and about. I had been to this town in particular a few times before; it has a well-known art scene and a few unique hangout spots, along with great restaurants and recreational spots.

I’ve always believed that towns with a population of under 50,000 are not really worth seeing, but sometimes that small-town feeling is nice. There’s something about walking down Main Street and seeing people you know…it just doesn’t happen in bigger cities. Sure, I think that urban areas will continue to grow, and suburban areas will die out. Ants and termites have had it right for millions of years. Living in tight-knit colonies is definitely the most effective way to live. Get ahead of the game and move to the city, save the small towns for vacation days.

Springtime for the Variety Blog!

Tomorrow is the first day of Spring and I’m excited. Warm weather on the East Coast means flowers and trees are already blooming. I’ve broken out my t shirts and shorts, and the birds have started waking us up at dawn to let us know they want sexytime (we get it already).

I love Spring because I love being outside. Last week, I made the trek to Tyler State Park(one of my favorite places on earth) to get a little exercise and fresh air. I like to get lost in the woods and pretend I’m in Narnia or I’m a scientist who knows a lot about trees. Or sometimes I like to just squish around in the mud and try to climb on trees and rocks. I tried venturing out on this log:

Pennsylvania State Parks

Looks stable, right?

It turns out I should probably get shoes that aren’t made of  canvas. My sneakers and socks and pants got wet and muddy. Oh well. Where’s the fun in trying to stay clean (I say as my Mother shudders)?

In my ventures I also found some daffodils in full bloom. As much as I wanted to pick them for my hair, I decided to leave nature untouched:


Cell phone pictures YAY!

By the time the day was over, I had spent a few hours just wandering around, and ended up falling asleep in my car like a hobo (and proud of it).

I have a dream of going to every state park in the US, or at least in the state of Pennsylvania, and putting together a huge book of pictures or maybe a documentary. Getting paid to be outside all day would be wonderful.

So enjoy your first day of spring, get your “green time” in (it’s surprisingly beneficial, do a little research), and get dirty!





I’m No Chicken

So I ate my first Five Guys burger this weekend…with bacon, fried onions, lettuce, tomatoes, mayo and pickles.

I had been hearing from friends, family and coworkers for years about how good these burgers were. A Five Guys moved in not too far from me three or four years ago, but I just never got around to eating there. Maybe it’s the fact that I try not to eat out a lot. I don’t have the money, and health-conscious me would rather have a banana than a burger. In fact, it had been more than a decade since I had a beef hamburger. But just this once, I decided to go all-out.

It was pretty delicious. In fact, the only thing that could have made it better was a little more bacon 🙂 The bun was great, the other toppings were plentiful and the burger was hot and juicy (that’s how they’re supposed to be, right?), not to mention the awesome fries.

I can say I’ll definitely go there again, but I’m not about to become  a burger connoisseur. All this recent talk of pink slime reminds me of why I stopped eating burgers in the first place. I remember there being a mad cow scare in the early 2000s, and 11 year-old me was not having any of that. Since that point I’ve really limited my red meat intake (although I am a complete barbecue fanatic). However, I am quite glad that my first burger was a Five Guys burger.  I don’t regret it one bit.

Spaghetti and Meatballs and… Horses?

Came across this video I made for a class in college. Poorly made, yes, but I think it’s kind of funny.


Toffee is, like, my favorite thing ever. I could eat it every day or take a bath in it (for all you other toffee fanatics out there, Skor is better than Heath, you should know that by now). However I didn’t discover this love until I spent my college summer vacations working at a candy store. Before that, I wasn’t quite sure what toffee was, but I was already crazy about caramel and butterscotch, so toffee was bound to be right up my alley (interesting article on the difference between the three here).

Over the years, I’ve refined my love of this delicious candy, but my favorite toffee treat is by far P-Nuttles. I first spotted them at a CVS less than a year ago. I haven’t found them anywhere else except at this particular CVS, so I always need to stock up when I’m there. $1 for a 3 ounce bag. Not bad. Completely, totally worth it.

Toffee Peanuts

Best. Thing. Ever.

There are only four ingredients in P-Nuttles, and I can pronounce them all. Peanuts, Sugar, Butter, and Salt. No chemicals, no preservatives, just toffee coated peanuts! They’re crunchy and delicious, and then best part is the leftover bits of toffee coating at the bottom of the bag. I like to think I have very few vices, but once I open a bag of P. Nuttles, it’s hard to put back down.

Pic courtesy of Adams and Brooks, maker of P. Nuttles!

For Kenn

A week ago today my friend Kenn died. He was only 20, would have been 21 in two days. We met in college on his 19th birthday. I was a junior and didn’t hang out with underclassmen really, but Kenn was awesome and intelligent and had great tastes, not to mention he was adorable. Although he dressed in a way that most people would refer to as “goth,” he had a heart of gold and gave great hugs. Everybody at school knew Kenn. I mean everybody. And everybody liked him too.

He was a talented artist and musician and had an awesome mohawk and knew how to have a good time. Kenn will be missed by many, many people.